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The Blahs

I know I've been MIA for two weeks, now. I don't even have a good excuse. I've just got the BLAHS. I don't have motivation to do anything, really. I can't pinpoint why or how but I just know what watching bad TV has been the only thing I've been interested in. Life has been busy, not with anything good, but busy. Maybe that's it? I haven't had anything to look forward to or focus on in the last couple weeks. I don't know...

Work has been slow, if I get a shift at all I get one a week. In honor of my lack of work, and income, I've been applying for second jobs. My manager knows what I'm up to and is very understanding about the whole thing. I've been scouring job search websites and send in an average of seven applications a week. The lack of response is getting to me. Over twenty applications are out and I've gotten two responses from them. One didn't pan out, and one has gotten me through three interviews and now I'm in sit and wait mode, again.

It's frustrating because the process was moving so fast until it ground to a halt. I was invited to do a phone interview on Tuesday, scheduled for Wednesday. Less than an hour after hanging up I got an invitation for an in person interview. That was Thursday. Before I got home from that interview they called for a third interview. That was Monday.

I thought Monday went well. They said I'd probably hear one way or another by Tuesday. It's Thursday after business hours and still no word. I'm not counting myself out, but I'm not as confident as I was before.

While doing the job hunt thing I can't bring myself to do much else. I don't want to write. I don't want to read. I don't want to run. I don't want to go to the gym.... I just don't wanna.

The other thing happening in my world is my doggy is sick. Scout-the-dog is a rescue that we adopted after he wandered into my in-law's garage. He had a bacterial and yeast infection and all his fur fell out. We nursed his chupacabra looking self back to health. He had almost all his fur back (he has a reverse neck beard) and has really come out of his shell. During his routine check up we discovered that he has heart worms. The vet thinks it's because his previous owners didn't have him on prevention. He tested negative the first time we took him to the vet because it takes six months for heart worms to mature enough to be detected by the test.

So now my poor puppers is all drugged up and not allowed to go anywhere. He is on bed rest for the next two months. He can't play with any other dogs until he gets the all clear from the vet. No walks. No play dates. No car rides. Nothing that gets him excited.

*Sigh*

Somewhere in all that my motivation was lost. I'm not frustrated enough to want to work out to vent my frustration and I'm not busy enough to make sure I have time in my schedule for the gym and I'm not happy enough to want to get out into the fresh air.

I'm in that terrible, horrible, sweet spot where nothing motivates me. I just want to sit on the couch and cuddle Scout-the-dog and watch daytime TV (hello Oxygen and Lifetime Channel marathons!).



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