Fat Nerd Fit

I’m in a confusing place with my mental health. I’m coming off a go-get-‘em phase that the spring brought with it and am now in an over-committed, over-whelmed anxious place. I want to things, but I’ve gotten myself into a position where I don’t know where to start so it’s easier not to do anything. As a matter of fact, “blog” has been on my to-do lists for weeks. I knew what I wanted to write about.   I’ve been writing this post in my head for 10 days.   But the idea of grabbing my computer and actually writing it all down was a step too far for me to take. It’s a confusing place to be aware of what’s happening and why it’s happening but having no real desire to make changes to help. During the spring, when I was in an Up mood, I thought about doing a bit of research so I could be better armed with information when the next Down mood came.   I was not expecting the Down mood to come so soon. Having not done deeper research, I didn’t know that a Down mood ...

www.thenorthernlight.org I’m not sure what to do with myself. Things are going well. Now that the seasons have changed, I’m sleeping better, I have more energy, and I’m getting shit done.   It feels so good to be out of the slump that zapped my energy, made me want to sleep all day and stole all my motivation. #AbsForApril coincided nicely, helping provide motivation to get to the gym.   Of course, working out – in turn- provides the endorphins to keep me up and running and it turns into an awesome cycle of good moods. At the start of May, I took a week off work and the gym and reset myself, getting rid of to-do lists and goals and obligations. I watched TV mostly, snuggled with Scout-the-Dog and got caught up on being lazy.   Unlike my usual self, after my vacation, I hit the gym running and am still going strong showing up for class regularly without my husband having to kick me out of bed. It’s amazing how a simple change in the weather can brin...

#AbsforApril is coming to a close. I’ve been at it for three weeks.   There’s a new ab routine every week and its been amping up each and every Sunday. This is the start of the last full week in April and I’m surprisingly still going strong. I have been clean of all sweets, alcohol, and fast food. Of course, for April, Whataburger (best fast food place EVER) introduced a Dr. Pepper Shake and I’ve had to be without for the last three weeks, and I have to make it one week longer.   As a Texan, missing out on Whataburger AND Dr. Pepper is a travesty. But I’m doing it. I even made it through Easter without my favorite candy: Reeses Peanutbutter Eggs. The hardest part, which I knew would be the hardest, is no one-the-way-home-pizza pickups. I’ve managed, and I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself for it.   Pizza is a huge weakness for me and I’ve not stopped by Little Ceasars all month. When I have had to stop at the grocery store for something for...

A little over 23 days ago most people were making their New Years Resolutions.   I was knee deep in a small journey in self-realization that involved a lot of research and confusion. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, a form of depression that is greatly affective by the seasons.   Because of this new news in my life, I decided not to make traditional resolutions this year.   I’m not setting firm, hard goals that will most likely be abandoned before February is over.   I’m not setting myself up to be disappointed next December when I don’t radically change my life in ways that I’ve been trying- and failing- to change for decades.   This year I’m going on a more spiritual path. 2019 will be my year of Self Care. I’m not going to hide behind helping others, putting myself third, fourth, or fifth in the line of priority. I’m putting myself first and, when needed, second but never less than second this year. Being supportive of the mental health...

I’ve been trying to process what’s been going on in my personal life, and to be honest I still don’t really know how I’m feeling about it, or how to go about handling it. November has been a hard month. My dad has been in and out of the hospital with heart problems. At one point his heart was working at 15% capacity. It all hit out of nowhere. It started out as a trip to the emergency room with an “Eh, we can fix this no problem” diagnosis and some follow ups with specialists. Then it became “Well, this is a bit worse than we thought, but some cardiac rehab and a few meds and we’ll be good to go.” Then it became “Okay, so we’re going do a procedure next week which should fix the issue.” Then that turned into a two week stay at the hospital, several days sedated in the ICU and a probability of in-patient rehab. And we finally landed on getting to go home having home healthcare come in to help him with rehab. This wasn’t my family’s first brush with scary medical situations (my m...