Fat Nerd Fit

Seasonal depression has a way of sneaking up on you. Looking back, I can see that my depression snuck in  about two and a half/three weeks ago.  It super hard this week.  I fell into my "exhausted for no reason" pattern and that's when I realized I'd slipped in. Tbis week, having realized I was mid-depressive episode I leaned into it to a certain extent. I had a couple days were I took un-necessary naps.  I didn't beat myself up for the days I slept in.  In the mean time I've also taken measures to combat my symptoms. I've made a point of spending time outside when the sun is out. I've made sure to eat healthy foods. I've snuggled with JackJack (my dog), and just allowed myself to be lazy and unmotivated. Today was my first day off by myself in over a week so I allowed myself a bit of chill and a bit of pampering.  I gave myself a facial, did an undereye treatment, and made my favorite meal.  I'm mixing it with some productive tasks as well...

I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed and overrun these days. There’s the typical holiday season nonsense happening, some exciting stuff, and some this-is-what-happens-as-you-get-older stuff.   A couple of things will pass with time (hosting two separate family get-togethers back to back), some of it will come with time (my father-in-law moving in), some of it is unavoidable (12-year-old cars just have issues), and one thing has the potential to start me down a path I’ve always wanted to be on (a publisher accepting a book proposal). Overwhelmed doesn’t have to be because of negative things. Overall what it’s boiling down to is I’m feeling out of control. So, naturally, I’m taking steps to get myself feeling more in control. I’m a To-Do List veteran, and over the years have perfected my system. Do I always get everything done? Nope. But it helps me keep track of things. Keeping on top of the must-be-done items is something I’ve gotten pretty good at. I very...

I’m in a confusing place with my mental health. I’m coming off a go-get-‘em phase that the spring brought with it and am now in an over-committed, over-whelmed anxious place. I want to things, but I’ve gotten myself into a position where I don’t know where to start so it’s easier not to do anything. As a matter of fact, “blog” has been on my to-do lists for weeks. I knew what I wanted to write about.   I’ve been writing this post in my head for 10 days.   But the idea of grabbing my computer and actually writing it all down was a step too far for me to take. It’s a confusing place to be aware of what’s happening and why it’s happening but having no real desire to make changes to help. During the spring, when I was in an Up mood, I thought about doing a bit of research so I could be better armed with information when the next Down mood came.   I was not expecting the Down mood to come so soon. Having not done deeper research, I didn’t know that a Down mood ...

Today is so much better than the last update. Yesterday, I originally planned to go to the gym before tackling my To-Do list.   I couldn’t get myself up.   I did get my list done, otherwise, including doing the taxes, so I’m not too stressed over skipping yesterday. Especially since today I got up and went.   I had to talk myself into it. I thought maybe instead of 9 am, I’d get myself to the 5:25 pm class (yeah, right!).   Maybe I’d go someday this week before work (I mean… it’s like I don’t know myself!) But, my next day off isn’t until Monday (today’s Tuesday) so I got up and went anyway. I’m proud of talking myself into it.   It’s so easy to convince myself that I’m too tired, that I “deserve” some extra sleep, or I’ll do it later.   Plus, I promised myself a shirt from the gym’s pro-shop if I made it every week in February.   I did miss one week due to an actual injury, so I’m letting that one slide.   A lower-back injury is a ...

The universe dropped this in my lap recently. I know the whole Apple Cider Vinegar ("ACV") Drink thing is not new, by any stretch. I've never given it any real thought, I've always passed it over as a fad diet and moved on. Last night someone in the From Fat to Finish Line group was talking about it and it seemed like quite a few of my FFTFL people had given it a try with various results and no real complaints. I trust my FFTFL peeps as they are always candid about their experiences good or bad. It really piqued my interest and I was mulling it over when today on the news they ran a story on it. It was the usual fluff piece that made no real assertions because they weren't about to take sides, but it once again on my radar. I continued to mull it over as I ran my errands this afternoon and when I popped into Whole Foods for a couple groceries, the first thing I saw an end cap with all the ACV drink ingredients. As this was the third time in less than t...

This week, I meal-prepped. I have a fridge full of healthy, ready to heat and eat food. There are prepped veggies. There are prepped fruits. There are ready to assemble salad fixin's. Yesterday I ate said prepped meals. I had pasta and veggies for lunch and an egg and veggie burrito for dinner. I felt pretty dang good about myself. Today as hubby left for work, I put the leash on the dog and went for a walk. Poor Scout-The-Dog is part Corgi and has tiny little legs. He made it .8 miles before this happened. He is zonked! I dropped him off at home and set out for another round of walking for 1.5 miles today. It's not a lot, I'm not as zonked as Scout-The-Dog, but I feel it in my legs. I've been majorly slacking on any and all things "Get Your Ass In Gear" but damned if I realized I was this out of shape... AGAIN. I'm proud that I got my ass off the couch and went for it. I'm a little ashamed that so little actually makes me feel like I...

So, I've become a mealprep kind of gal. With my schedule at the store plus a household to run it's become necessary and helpful. When left to my own devices, I'll run to the store for a frozen pizza or even make my own from scratch if I have all I need. Pizza is a downfall for me and I can't tell you what is is about it that makes it a weakness for me. Because I work a random smattering of weeknights and my husband works Sunday-Wednesday nights there's not a whole lot of reason to cook. When it's just me I have that "no one will know" cushion and on the rare day both me and hubby are off we tend to get in as much "us" time as possible and not cook, but head out to eat and do something. Because husband works nights and has an unpredictable meal time (he's a CSI with the local police department) I've been making his dinners for months, now. I'll make him an entree and he'll pack some snack-like sides and be on his way. He...

We've well established that I've been hanging out next to the wagon, talking about getting on but not quite able to bring myself to do it. This week, I had the best of intentions. I planned ahead and when I went to the store I stuck to my list, didn't splurge, and kept it clean. I even went to the farmer's market for fresh veggies. I meal prepped. I have a fridge full of salads, hummus (homemade) and sliced veggies. Fruit, pealed and ready to eat. Fresh brewed Green Tea. I've been eating pizza all week. I started my period on Monday morning. Usually my period is a total non-issue for me. Make sure I have some tampons on hand and maybe a single dose of Midol at the start and I'm business as usual. Not this week. My back cramped, my stomach cramped, I'm bloated, I'm craving meat (I've been a vegetarian for almost six years), I'm exhausted. It's so strange. I've been handling my period every month for over twenty years no...

So I'm still in a funk. It's strange. Nothing bad is happening. I don't have any problems holding me back. My relationship with my husband is solid. My dog's medial treatments are going well. The bills are paid. We have no problem meeting our needs. I love my job. I'm just.... blah. I go to work, have fun there, come home talk with my husband, have dinner, play with the dog and go to bed. Or on days off I do the laundry, catch up on TV, play with the dog, surf the net. Oh. And think about how I should be out running. There's always that. I think and talk a good game but can't get my ass up off the couch to do it. The weather is nice. There's a great walking/running trail near my home. I have the time. Not the motivation. I'm not motivated to do anything that I usually love. I'm not writing, I'm not crafting, I'm not cooking, I'm not doing anything. I can't put my finger on why. If I could pinpoint i...

After my last post, the pity party one complaining that my lack of things to do was draining my motivation, I got what I asked for. Busy. On Tuesday of this week I found out my work schedule for the upcoming week: 6 days, 40 hours. I have work at the store every day except Thursday this week. Which will be good for the pocketbook and the credit card balance. Also I have my side hustle of dog sitting Tuesday-Friday so I will be driving back to my old stomping grounds to tend to some puppers, then back to my new stomping grounds for the store. I also am going through the job interview process yet again. I still haven't heard from the company from last week, so I'm figuring that's a "no." Yesterday I had this weird, automated phone interview with a new company. It was strange having a one sided conversation with a computer. It was like leaving a voicemail job interview. No one is good at leaving a voicemail! But, I did the voicemail interview yesterday morni...

I was very hopeful that my plantar fasciitis was going to clear up by now. It continues to noticeably improve, but it's still not healed to a place where I can get out and actively exercise. It's easy to sit here and swear that I'd totally be hitting the gym and/or the road if only I could be out there, but I feel like I'd at least would have made two or three workouts in the last two weeks if I'd be able to. That's still not the every other day I've got my eyes set on and it's certainly not the every day my subconscious ego swears it would be, but two or three times in two weeks is a true estimation of what I've lost out on. It's still a win for me, though. Not very long ago I would be quite happy sitting on the couch for two weeks with my feet up. I'd have a six pack of beer, a pizza delivery on its way and be planning on wine and Chinese take away tomorrow. I'm actually kind of proud of myself that I am anxious to get out there. ...

Sorry I've been MIA for the last week. I got the flu right after Thanksgiving and promptly went down for the count. I've talked before about several of the Facebook groups I'm part of and am a member of a couple others as well. I really like all the positive attitudes and inspirational stories that I see every time I log in. There is also another weird side effect of those stories. I don't feel like I'm good enough, or something enough when I think about how awesome everyone else is doing. This member runs at a 9 minute mile and thinks they're slow. This member has lost 70 pounds so far this year. This member has been taken off their diabetes medication due to their hard work. I know that it's all about hard work and these people were all once someone who thought "Dude, I need to fix this." I can't help comparing myself to what people have already done and not allowing myself the time to get there. No one did it overnight, and whi...