Fat Nerd Fit

A little over 23 days ago most people were making their New Years Resolutions.   I was knee deep in a small journey in self-realization that involved a lot of research and confusion. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, a form of depression that is greatly affective by the seasons.   Because of this new news in my life, I decided not to make traditional resolutions this year.   I’m not setting firm, hard goals that will most likely be abandoned before February is over.   I’m not setting myself up to be disappointed next December when I don’t radically change my life in ways that I’ve been trying- and failing- to change for decades.   This year I’m going on a more spiritual path. 2019 will be my year of Self Care. I’m not going to hide behind helping others, putting myself third, fourth, or fifth in the line of priority. I’m putting myself first and, when needed, second but never less than second this year. Being supportive of the mental health needs of those around m

Depression is a hell of a thing.   I’m still struggling to wrap my head around all this, but the more I think about it, and the more I investigate it, the more it all makes sense. My family has a history of depression, both diagnosed and undiagnosed. It’s something I grew up around and it was never stigmatized.   I’ve always appreciated that about my parents, but I’ve never fully come to be properly grateful for it until now. Without divulging other people’s personal information, I have several family members and several childhood friends with diagnosed depression.   It’s never been an issue or sticking point with me, it’s just been a part of my loved ones.   But it’s always been something that other people dealt with.   My job was to support them and be understanding. It’s a bit strange finding myself dealing with it while my loved ones are being understanding of me.   I’m not sure if this is something that I’ve always been dealing with, or if it’s new.   Up until last year