Fat Nerd Fit

At midnight tonight, I will have survived the Holiday Season, which in America is October- January 1.  It has been a hell of a three months, but I'm still here. I'm going into 2020 with an unexpected car payment (my 2007 Ford Escape bit the big one and it was either buy a new car or buy a new engine....), a new plan, a new attitude, and high hopes.  The insane heat that's going on here in Texas is not only taking out people's car batteries but apparently the coolant as well. Somewhere along the way this year I was either slow on or missed a coolant refill, which caused a crack inside the engine somewhere, which allowed leaks that were undetectable from the outside that caused catastrophic engine failure.  In the end, I could even buy a new engine for seven grand or buy a new car.  My Ford was pronounced dead on a Monday and on Thursday I was the owner of a 2017 Hyundai. We were hoping to get at least three more years out of my car (which conveniently mea

With the holidays upon us, life for us all is getting hectic.   Whether you are hosting, traveling, or just existing in America right now there is a hustle to the world that is hard to shut out. At our house, for Thanksgiving, we caught a stomach bug.   My husband felt ill for one night, went to Thanksgiving dinner, ate all the pie and went about his life.   I made it through Black Friday at the bookstore (it’s even the busiest shopping day of the year for us at a little local bookstore) and CRASHED. I went to bed Friday night after work and proceeded to sleep through Saturday, getting up Sunday and going to work. I can’t remember the last time I got that kind of sick. I haven’t so much as gotten a cold in years, but I crashed hard.   This morning, Wednesday was the first morning I didn’t feel blah when I woke up.   I actually ate something more substantial than oatmeal or toast today.   I had originally planned on making mulled wine and doing Christmas chores around the house toda

I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed and overrun these days. There’s the typical holiday season nonsense happening, some exciting stuff, and some this-is-what-happens-as-you-get-older stuff.   A couple of things will pass with time (hosting two separate family get-togethers back to back), some of it will come with time (my father-in-law moving in), some of it is unavoidable (12-year-old cars just have issues), and one thing has the potential to start me down a path I’ve always wanted to be on (a publisher accepting a book proposal). Overwhelmed doesn’t have to be because of negative things. Overall what it’s boiling down to is I’m feeling out of control. So, naturally, I’m taking steps to get myself feeling more in control. I’m a To-Do List veteran, and over the years have perfected my system. Do I always get everything done? Nope. But it helps me keep track of things. Keeping on top of the must-be-done items is something I’ve gotten pretty good at. I very rar

I have been feeling so overwhelmed for the last few months. So much has been going on, most of it out of my control, and I’ve just retreated into Netflix to cope. Three months ago, my husband and I had to put Scout-the-dog to sleep. He very suddenly started having neurological issues.   At first, a round of meds took care of it.   Then the symptoms came back, stronger and within 24 hours we had to make the decision. I am very grateful both I and my husband were able to be there with Scout-the-dog in his final moments. We’d only had him for about four years, but he was our first shared pet, both of our first dog, and he was a very important member of our pack. Much sooner than we expected, the universe put another dog in our path. We met our neighbor’s foster dog JackJack. We both instantly fell in love and a month later we welcomed him into our pack. Scout-the-dog was an elderly and sick dog when we got him.   We made him as comfortable as we could while we had him.   But

I’m in a confusing place with my mental health. I’m coming off a go-get-‘em phase that the spring brought with it and am now in an over-committed, over-whelmed anxious place. I want to things, but I’ve gotten myself into a position where I don’t know where to start so it’s easier not to do anything. As a matter of fact, “blog” has been on my to-do lists for weeks. I knew what I wanted to write about.   I’ve been writing this post in my head for 10 days.   But the idea of grabbing my computer and actually writing it all down was a step too far for me to take. It’s a confusing place to be aware of what’s happening and why it’s happening but having no real desire to make changes to help. During the spring, when I was in an Up mood, I thought about doing a bit of research so I could be better armed with information when the next Down mood came.   I was not expecting the Down mood to come so soon. Having not done deeper research, I didn’t know that a Down mood would come so

I guess you could say I’m in a mildly manic phase right now.   I’m not really sure what else to call the “up” periods of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’ve got loads of perk and energy and it’s noticeable.   I had a coworker say to me “I’m not sure if your positivity is infectious or pathological.” And I suppose it’s a fair reaction when your manager is singing a little tune narrating how she’s going to set you up to count down your registers. One of the symptoms of SAD that has always affected me is lethargy and sleeping all the time. My mom always talks about when I was a kid, I was a 12-hour baby. You could set your clock by me, put me to bed at 7 pm I wouldn’t wake up until 7 am. As I grew and became a teen I still slept like crazy and no matter when I went to bed, I was sleeping in on weekends or sleeping until the last possible moment. I can get out the door in ten minutes- I’ve perfected it. Except in the spring and summer in which I’d stay up all night doing nothing becau