Fat Nerd Fit

At midnight tonight, I will have survived the Holiday Season, which in America is October- January 1.  It has been a hell of a three months, but I'm still here. I'm going into 2020 with an unexpected car payment (my 2007 Ford Escape bit the big one and it was either buy a new car or buy a new engine....), a new plan, a new attitude, and high hopes.  The insane heat that's going on here in Texas is not only taking out people's car batteries but apparently the coolant as well. Somewhere along the way this year I was either slow on or missed a coolant refill, which caused a crack inside the engine somewhere, which allowed leaks that were undetectable from the outside that caused catastrophic engine failure.  In the end, I could even buy a new engine for seven grand or buy a new car.  My Ford was pronounced dead on a Monday and on Thursday I was the owner of a 2017 Hyundai. We were hoping to get at least three more years out of my car (which conveniently ...

With the holidays upon us, life for us all is getting hectic.   Whether you are hosting, traveling, or just existing in America right now there is a hustle to the world that is hard to shut out. At our house, for Thanksgiving, we caught a stomach bug.   My husband felt ill for one night, went to Thanksgiving dinner, ate all the pie and went about his life.   I made it through Black Friday at the bookstore (it’s even the busiest shopping day of the year for us at a little local bookstore) and CRASHED. I went to bed Friday night after work and proceeded to sleep through Saturday, getting up Sunday and going to work. I can’t remember the last time I got that kind of sick. I haven’t so much as gotten a cold in years, but I crashed hard.   This morning, Wednesday was the first morning I didn’t feel blah when I woke up.   I actually ate something more substantial than oatmeal or toast today.   I had originally planned on making mulled wine and doing Christmas...

I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed and overrun these days. There’s the typical holiday season nonsense happening, some exciting stuff, and some this-is-what-happens-as-you-get-older stuff.   A couple of things will pass with time (hosting two separate family get-togethers back to back), some of it will come with time (my father-in-law moving in), some of it is unavoidable (12-year-old cars just have issues), and one thing has the potential to start me down a path I’ve always wanted to be on (a publisher accepting a book proposal). Overwhelmed doesn’t have to be because of negative things. Overall what it’s boiling down to is I’m feeling out of control. So, naturally, I’m taking steps to get myself feeling more in control. I’m a To-Do List veteran, and over the years have perfected my system. Do I always get everything done? Nope. But it helps me keep track of things. Keeping on top of the must-be-done items is something I’ve gotten pretty good at. I very...

#AbsforApril is coming to a close. I’ve been at it for three weeks.   There’s a new ab routine every week and its been amping up each and every Sunday. This is the start of the last full week in April and I’m surprisingly still going strong. I have been clean of all sweets, alcohol, and fast food. Of course, for April, Whataburger (best fast food place EVER) introduced a Dr. Pepper Shake and I’ve had to be without for the last three weeks, and I have to make it one week longer.   As a Texan, missing out on Whataburger AND Dr. Pepper is a travesty. But I’m doing it. I even made it through Easter without my favorite candy: Reeses Peanutbutter Eggs. The hardest part, which I knew would be the hardest, is no one-the-way-home-pizza pickups. I’ve managed, and I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself for it.   Pizza is a huge weakness for me and I’ve not stopped by Little Ceasars all month. When I have had to stop at the grocery store for something for...

Today is so much better than the last update. Yesterday, I originally planned to go to the gym before tackling my To-Do list.   I couldn’t get myself up.   I did get my list done, otherwise, including doing the taxes, so I’m not too stressed over skipping yesterday. Especially since today I got up and went.   I had to talk myself into it. I thought maybe instead of 9 am, I’d get myself to the 5:25 pm class (yeah, right!).   Maybe I’d go someday this week before work (I mean… it’s like I don’t know myself!) But, my next day off isn’t until Monday (today’s Tuesday) so I got up and went anyway. I’m proud of talking myself into it.   It’s so easy to convince myself that I’m too tired, that I “deserve” some extra sleep, or I’ll do it later.   Plus, I promised myself a shirt from the gym’s pro-shop if I made it every week in February.   I did miss one week due to an actual injury, so I’m letting that one slide.   A lower-back injury is a ...

I had a good streak going, but today I crashed.   As I’m learning to live with a new reality, I’m also learning what does and doesn’t work. For instance, “feeling better” doesn’t mean I don’t need to do the things I know I need to do.   It’s crazy, I’ve had this conversation with friends before.   When your chosen medication is working and you’re feeling better- it doesn’t mean you don’t need it anymore…. It just means it’s working. I know that. I stopped anyway. And here I am, with a very short To-Do list in front of me and no motivation or energy to do it.   Hell, several items on my list are computer based, sit on your butt, type a few words- type items and it took me three hours to work up the energy to even turn my computer on. Other items on my list include washing the bed sheets- another sit on your butt for the most part chore that I can’t wrap my head around moving the sheets out of the dryer and the blanket into the dryer. I’ve lived this way f...

image credit Favorite Run Facebook Group I have officially worked out more in February than I have in all of November – January. Twice. That’s barely anything in the grand scheme of things, but it’s huge compared to what I’ve been able to convince myself to do recently. In working with depression, I’ve decided to go with small steps.   For the month of February, I’ve decided to go to the gym at least once every week.   And, in the spirit of encouragement, if I make my goal, I’m going to get myself a piece of swag from the gym’s pro-shop. I’m going for encouragement and reward for realistic goals to hopefully avoid a shame spiral.   One of the things that kept me from getting back to the gym sooner was the anxiety of what it would be like when I got back.   I go to a small-ish kickboxing gym where the trainers are really good about remembering people and making them feel like they’re excited to see you.   Accountability is a big thing with...

A little over a month ago, I started a food journal. I would jot down what I was eating on a given day to get a handle on what I was doing to myself. I started out just eating normally and got a base line. I didn’t want to make the food journal a chore or something I over-thought, so I literally would just make note of the food, not worrying about serving amounts or calories. I didn’t want to turn it into a science project or algebra problem. It’d be as simple as: Wednesday: Waffles with syrup Black coffee Pasta with spinach and mushrooms Apple Pizza Lots of water It was something I could do once a day, or even be able to keep up with every other day and still get an accurate account of what I was eating. I’d put in there eating habits I was proud of “didn’t eat the brownies in the break room” and “convinced myself not to buy candy from the vending machine”. I also, about once a week, used it as an actual journal writing about what was going on at work, at home, jus...

This week has been insanely frustrating and hectic. WEDNESDAY It started out perfect with a nice kickboxing class. It was practically a private lesson there was just me and one other person in the class. It was like my first lesson with lots of personal attention. It was a great workout and I felt awesome afterwards. Then, I got in my car and it wouldn’t start. It wasn’t even trying to turn over. I just got the battery and the battery cables replaced and I was hoping it was the starter. When I got it to start I drove it straight to the mechanic. We were a little freaked out about the millions of things that could be wrong and the thousands of dollars it could cost so we cancelled our planned trip to Costco and just hung out at home and watched Iron Fist season 2 (which is so much better than season 1, by the way). Meanwhile, our yard is insanely overgrown, and I’ve been messaging our lawn service without getting responses. At this point in our lawn saga, we’ve hired a la...

Last night was class number two at ilovekickboxing.com. I went last Friday for my first class and holy heck did it kick my butt. I loved almost every second of class number one (the cardio warm up is a killer), but when I woke up Saturday morning I WAS SORE!! My legs were all kinds of stiff and no amount of pain reliever was going to make a difference. At work that night my manager noticed I was walking stiffly and came by to make sure I was okay. Wednesday was my first pain/stiffness/soreness free day after my Friday class. I super wanted to go back to class Wednesday night, but my sis-in-law (who lives across the country) was in town for a one night only appearance on her way somewhere else. Not going to lie, there was a huge part of me that wanted to go to kickboxing. Which I know makes that huge part of me a terrible person. But, my siblings-in-law are all awesome and I went to dinner with them and got to spend time with someone I only see once or twice a year. I’m glad I d...

I adored kickboxing class, even if I'm still sore and a bit stiff from it. But, the hoped inspiration and boost of starting something new is working. All week for my lunches I've been taking fresh, raw veggies with hummus and fruit to work. I've been staying away from the café and vending machine. No Starbucks. No cream in the coffee. It feels good to have things closer on track. I’m still not at 100%. I had pizza one night for dinner. But, I’m moving forward at a good pace. I’ve got class planned again for Friday, and depending on a couple factors, I may hit one up on Wednesday, too. I think Wednesday and Friday could be regular class days for me with my current work schedule. But we have possible out of town family member dropping in Wednesday this week. I had a job interview last week for a promotion, that is also at a closer location, last week and it felt pretty good. I don’t want to start counting eggs, so I’m trying to keep things in prospective. I am...

Last night was my first kickboxing class at my local ilovekickboxing.com studio. My legs hurt today in all the best ways. I adored class and you better believe I signed up for a one-year membership before I left the studio. The one downside is the price of membership and how the company tends to keep it under wraps for the most part. When I sighed up for their internet special (5 Classes for $19.99 plus a pair of boxing gloves) I started scouting their website to check membership pricing. They are up front about the “After your first class we’ll show you how to save $100 on membership!”- so you know after class it’s time for the hard sell, but it’s not advertised on their website what you’re saving $100 on. I did some digging and googling and found the structure of membership. Being armed with that info when I went in and having time to discuss the membership costs with my husband beforehand, I was comfortable with the hard sell approach and there was no sticker shock. Here’...

I’m trying to be more real with myself. I’ve been keeping a food journal with little notes like “said no to bunt cake!” and “walked past the donuts!” and one “Husband’s birthday celebration.” This last week was rough. There was a lot going on in not a lot of time. I was working, dog sitting (which takes up my lunch break), and babysitting, and it was my husband’s birthday- and then, you know, trying to run a house. I made some poor decisions. There was a trip to CiCis. There was a frozen pizza for dinner. But, even with how full my calendar was, I made fewer poor decisions than I have in just a normal week. Even with the pizza and junk food, I ate this week- I still made more good decisions than I did in a normal week. I’m okay with that. And, the good food choices that I have been making are making it easier to keep going. We had two birthday dinners for my husband (one friends, one family) and I only had one cupcake and declined the cake at the second dinner. I bought a ...

I’ve not only stagnated- I’ve gone backwards. I got on the scale and have not only regained the weight I’ve lost this year… I’ve added six pounds. Like I said last time, this isn’t a real surprise. It’s not out of left field. I’ve grown complacent and just stopped trying. I think I need to shake things up to get myself going again. Over the last two weeks, I’ve just paid attention to what I’ve been eating. I’ve cut down on “I’ll just grab dinner on the way home” days. And I’ve cut out the trips to the vending machine at work. I’ve made better choices at Starbucks. After getting on the scale this morning, I can report that I’ve lost two pounds. Two pounds of making the obviously better for you eating choices. I’m happy with that. To keep up my momentum and work to my strengths, I’ve started a food diary/journal. It’s hand written and just for me because right now I think I’m putting too much pressure on myself to show a “perfect” and “motivational” picture of me to the p...

Weight is a weird thing. Sure, scientifically, it’s all about gravity and mass and blah blah balh. It’s just a number. It’s not a measurement of your worth. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. I know. But fat. Appearance. Confidence. So much is tied into that arbitrary number on the scale. The circumference of your waste. Psychology. I’m getting lost in the mire of all of it and it’s all tied to that number. As I struggle with the importance of the number and what it means to me I’m finding twists and turns I’m finding questions and concerns and confusion. Lots of confusion. Lots of… not sure what I’m finding. Me? Maybe? I’m okay with what I’m finding. And I wouldn’t say I’m UN-comfortable with it. But I’m not sure what’s going on. I’ve never read the self-help books or joined the group therapy, or one-on-one therapy, or done much more than surface based “lose weight.” I’m finding that it’s so much more than getting to the gym, eating carrots, skipping creamer in the cof...

Last week was my birthday. Now 34, nothing has changed. I’m still me. I’ve never put much weight into the age (I mean, once you get past 21 what’s to look forward to?) but the date is what I focus on. My birthday is almost exactly the halfway point of the year, June 30. It’s a good time to evaluate where I am on my goals for the year and refocus. I’ve totally lost my perspective recently, spooking myself out of success and resting on my laurels. I let myself talk myself into “deserving” splurges. I grab something “easy” on the way home from work for dinner. And Starbucks is directly on my way to work so that’s been a daily stop… Originally, I was trying to get refocused in June. Take the baby steps to get back on track. Of course, I fell into the “okay, this is the last time” trap every time I was tired and wanted pizza. I did manage to only eat the lunches that I packed for myself at work…. No popping out for fast food and a soda. That’s one baby step I managed. When ...

I feel like this is a confession. I, allegedly, started this blog to share a journey to physical fitness and overall health. So far, that’s been a total fair. In 2018. I have a goal of losing 50 pounds. So far, I’ve lost 1. In six months, ONE POUND. That’s no even really losing, that’s maintaining. A while ago I’d be sitting here waxing poetic about how maintaining, is still a victory because it’s not a gain. I’d be making excuses to try to stay positive. I’d do what I could to stay up beat about all this. Part of me still wants to. I haven’t failed I just haven’t succeeded, either. Stay positive. Be positive. No negative. Don’t be a downer…. I can’t keep doing that. At least not right now. The last few months I’ve been putting myself on the backburner. With house-hunting, -buying- and -moving I’ve allowed myself to say, “now’s not a good time” and “we’re too busy” and “other things are more important.” I know I’m not alone in constantly putting everything else...

This week has been a week of finally slowing down and reassessing what needs to be done. For the last two months, we have been none stop house hunting or getting-stuff-together-to-buy-the-house-we-hunted. I have sagged off on a lot of things. Mostly exercise. I’ve been giving up my days off to house stuff so my hours at home on work days have been dedicated to the stuff I’d usually do on my days off. I can’t just not to do the laundry, or the dishes, or the grocery shopping. I’ve put off sweeping, mopping, cleaning the shower and toilet, giving the dog baths, vacuuming, dying my hair and taking care of the junk mail. And exercising. There has been no exercising. And I haven’t been the best at making the healthier food choices. I know they say, “if it’s important you’ll make time for it,” but sometimes it’s not important enough to make time for. With our schedules, my husband and I only have one day a week off together. We make it work, but in time like this where we’re ...

I’ve hit a new milestone in my working out: I’m not eating enough. My usual regime used to be protein shake in the morning, protein bar for lunch, then a dinner. Now that I’ve added weights to my workouts I’m starving by the time I get home for dinner and am making bad food choices. February is the first month I gained weight when I weighted in at the end of the month. I blame bad food choices and lax commitment. I’m keeping up with my workouts but am adding more fuel to my lunches. For this week my food regime will be: protein shake for breakfast, lunch of roasted broccoli and brussels sprouts, with mashed sweet potatoes, and a banana, and dinner will be bean tacos, or a salad, or a sandwich on whole grain bread. I’m not letting this backslide stop me or slow me down. These things happen and the only way to move forward is to move forward. I’ve got my meal prep done. I’ve got my workout schedule in my planner. I’ve got determination and drive. Let’s do this!

This week I started Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution DVD set—ish. I say “ish” because the DVD set I bought is missing a disk. I got it at the bookstore I work at, so I go a super awesome discount. The Body Revolution is a 12-week DVD set that comes with a workout schedule and meal guide. Because I’m still doing the AdvoCare One80 I’m not following the meal guide, but I am following the workout schedule. The disk I am missing is for Phase One so I’m only missing something for week one and week two but soon I’ll be whole hog. Phase One Week One is three DVDs (one of which I am missing)- two weights oriented and one cardio. The schedule gives you Sunday off and you do each of the DVD workouts twice for the week for six total workouts. I managed four workouts this week- two weight DVDs, one cardio DVD, and one walk outside instead of the cardio DVD. The first day I did Phase 1 workout 1 using 5 lb. weights. And damn did 5lbs feel like a ton after 30 minutes of working my shou...