SAD in the summer?

I’m in a confusing place with my mental health. I’m coming off a go-get-‘em phase that the spring brought with it and am now in an over-committed, over-whelmed anxious place. I want to things, but I’ve gotten myself into a position where I don’t know where to start so it’s easier not to do anything.

As a matter of fact, “blog” has been on my to-do lists for weeks.

I knew what I wanted to write about.  I’ve been writing this post in my head for 10 days.  But the idea of grabbing my computer and actually writing it all down was a step too far for me to take.

It’s a confusing place to be aware of what’s happening and why it’s happening but having no real desire to make changes to help. During the spring, when I was in an Up mood, I thought about doing a bit of research so I could be better armed with information when the next Down mood came.  I was not expecting the Down mood to come so soon.

Having not done deeper research, I didn’t know that a Down mood would come so soon.

It isn’t as bad as it is in the winter. I’m not sleeping in until noon or later on my days off and then going back to bed at 10 pm. I’m not living on caffeine and pizza. I’m not staring blankly at the TV.

I’m waking up with my alarm, but not really getting up unless I have to. I’m not putting off washing my hair. I’m eating vegetables regularly. But the motivation is severely lacking. If it’s something that must be done, I put it off for as long as possible before I do it.

I’ve talked to family members with diagnosed depression about what I’m feeling. I am open about it (thanks to a group of friends and celebrities who have been so open about what they’re working with). I’m not sure what my next move is.

Part of me thinks maybe taking St. John’s Wort and seeing how that goes. I’ve had family recommend that.

I don’t think my issues are severe enough to see a therapist. I’m not against traditional therapy. I’m just… I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I feel like my symptoms are minor enough that I should take care of it myself? I don’t know.

Like I said, it’s weird to know what’s going on but have no control over it.