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February Wrap Up-- not bad if I do say so myself.....


Today is so much better than the last update.

Yesterday, I originally planned to go to the gym before tackling my To-Do list.  I couldn’t get myself up.  I did get my list done, otherwise, including doing the taxes, so I’m not too stressed over skipping yesterday.

Especially since today I got up and went.  I had to talk myself into it. I thought maybe instead of 9 am, I’d get myself to the 5:25 pm class (yeah, right!).  Maybe I’d go someday this week before work (I mean… it’s like I don’t know myself!) But, my next day off isn’t until Monday (today’s Tuesday) so I got up and went anyway. I’m proud of talking myself into it.  It’s so easy to convince myself that I’m too tired, that I “deserve” some extra sleep, or I’ll do it later. 

Plus, I promised myself a shirt from the gym’s pro-shop if I made it every week in February.  I did miss one week due to an actual injury, so I’m letting that one slide.  A lower-back injury is a valid reason not to go to kickboxing.  I could barely sit down or stand up from sitting, so burpees were out of the question and likely to cause more damage.

The month of February I made it to the gym 4 times and went for 1 purposeful walk. That’s 4 trips to the gym and 1 walk more than I did in January.

Overall February was a much better month than January was.  Living in a purposeful way, acknowledging when I’m in a vulnerable place and adapting to it is making a real difference.  I’m by far no expert on depression, I’ve been depression-adjacent my entire life, but never recognized the symptoms in myself.  Like so many people I looked around it- I made excuses- I ignored it. 

Embracing it has been a game changer.  I have several friends who are incredibly open about their struggles both in person and online.  I admire their strength and bravery, but I’m not ready to “come out,” yet. The anonymity of a blog, of Twitter, is a comfortable place for me right now.

My husband knows how I feel and is deeply supportive of me.  He knows when to kick me out of bed to go to the gym, and when to be understanding that I just couldn’t get myself out on my own. He talks openly with me about everything and goes with the flow.

For the month of March, my goal is to go to the gym weekly. I have a 5k scheduled in March as well.  I’ve been better about using my CDB oil and am taking time each day to spend a few minutes in the sun and fresh air.

I can work with this.


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