Today is so much better than the last update.
Yesterday, I originally planned to go to the gym before
tackling my To-Do list. I couldn’t get
myself up. I did get my list done,
otherwise, including doing the taxes, so I’m not too stressed over skipping
yesterday.
Especially since today I got up and went. I had to talk myself into it. I thought maybe
instead of 9 am, I’d get myself to the 5:25 pm class (yeah, right!). Maybe I’d go someday
this week before work (I mean… it’s like I don’t know myself!) But, my next day
off isn’t until Monday (today’s Tuesday) so I got up and went anyway. I’m proud
of talking myself into it. It’s so easy
to convince myself that I’m too tired, that I “deserve” some extra sleep, or I’ll
do it later.
Plus, I promised myself a shirt from the gym’s pro-shop if I
made it every week in February. I did
miss one week due to an actual injury, so I’m letting that one slide. A lower-back
injury is a valid reason not to go to kickboxing. I could barely sit down or stand up from
sitting, so burpees were out of the question and likely to cause more damage.
The month of February I made it to the gym 4 times and went
for 1 purposeful walk. That’s 4 trips to the gym and 1 walk more than I did in
January.
Overall February was a much better month than January
was. Living in a purposeful way, acknowledging
when I’m in a vulnerable place and adapting to it is making a real difference. I’m by far no expert on depression, I’ve been
depression-adjacent my entire life, but never recognized the symptoms in
myself. Like so many people I looked
around it- I made excuses- I ignored it.
Embracing it has been a game changer. I have several friends who are incredibly
open about their struggles both in person and online. I admire their strength and bravery, but I’m
not ready to “come out,” yet. The anonymity of a blog, of Twitter, is a comfortable place for me right
now.
My husband knows how I feel and is deeply supportive of me. He knows when to kick me out of bed to go to the
gym, and when to be understanding that I just couldn’t get myself out on my
own. He talks openly with me about everything and goes with the flow.
For the month of March, my goal is to go to the gym weekly.
I have a 5k scheduled in March as well. I’ve been better about using my CDB oil and am
taking time each day to spend a few minutes in the sun and fresh air.
I can work with this.
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