Fat Nerd Fit

#AbsforApril is coming to a close. I’ve been at it for three weeks.   There’s a new ab routine every week and its been amping up each and every Sunday. This is the start of the last full week in April and I’m surprisingly still going strong. I have been clean of all sweets, alcohol, and fast food. Of course, for April, Whataburger (best fast food place EVER) introduced a Dr. Pepper Shake and I’ve had to be without for the last three weeks, and I have to make it one week longer.   As a Texan, missing out on Whataburger AND Dr. Pepper is a travesty. But I’m doing it. I even made it through Easter without my favorite candy: Reeses Peanutbutter Eggs. The hardest part, which I knew would be the hardest, is no one-the-way-home-pizza pickups. I’ve managed, and I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself for it.   Pizza is a huge weakness for me and I’ve not stopped by Little Ceasars all month. When I have had to stop at the grocery store for something for...

Oh, good gods, what have I done? One of the things I love about ilovekickboxing.com is when I signed up, I told them I needed help with accountability.   Because as is blindly obvious- I have shit will power and even worse follow through. I can talk a big game, and plan all day long but actually doing something?   Yeah, I suck at that part. In support of my need for accountability, I got called out on Facebook.   The gym has a closed Facebook page and when they announced the #AbsForApril challenge.   One of the trainers tagged me, said “hey you should do this!” and the public-ish pressure worked.   I agreed to do it. Here are the rules: Go to the gym at least 3x a week Do the prescribed Ab exercises 2x a day at least 3x a week. Make two dietary changes This week’s ab routine is: 15 each:               Leg Lifts         ...

Today is so much better than the last update. Yesterday, I originally planned to go to the gym before tackling my To-Do list.   I couldn’t get myself up.   I did get my list done, otherwise, including doing the taxes, so I’m not too stressed over skipping yesterday. Especially since today I got up and went.   I had to talk myself into it. I thought maybe instead of 9 am, I’d get myself to the 5:25 pm class (yeah, right!).   Maybe I’d go someday this week before work (I mean… it’s like I don’t know myself!) But, my next day off isn’t until Monday (today’s Tuesday) so I got up and went anyway. I’m proud of talking myself into it.   It’s so easy to convince myself that I’m too tired, that I “deserve” some extra sleep, or I’ll do it later.   Plus, I promised myself a shirt from the gym’s pro-shop if I made it every week in February.   I did miss one week due to an actual injury, so I’m letting that one slide.   A lower-back injury is a ...

I had a good streak going, but today I crashed.   As I’m learning to live with a new reality, I’m also learning what does and doesn’t work. For instance, “feeling better” doesn’t mean I don’t need to do the things I know I need to do.   It’s crazy, I’ve had this conversation with friends before.   When your chosen medication is working and you’re feeling better- it doesn’t mean you don’t need it anymore…. It just means it’s working. I know that. I stopped anyway. And here I am, with a very short To-Do list in front of me and no motivation or energy to do it.   Hell, several items on my list are computer based, sit on your butt, type a few words- type items and it took me three hours to work up the energy to even turn my computer on. Other items on my list include washing the bed sheets- another sit on your butt for the most part chore that I can’t wrap my head around moving the sheets out of the dryer and the blanket into the dryer. I’ve lived this way f...

image credit Favorite Run Facebook Group I have officially worked out more in February than I have in all of November – January. Twice. That’s barely anything in the grand scheme of things, but it’s huge compared to what I’ve been able to convince myself to do recently. In working with depression, I’ve decided to go with small steps.   For the month of February, I’ve decided to go to the gym at least once every week.   And, in the spirit of encouragement, if I make my goal, I’m going to get myself a piece of swag from the gym’s pro-shop. I’m going for encouragement and reward for realistic goals to hopefully avoid a shame spiral.   One of the things that kept me from getting back to the gym sooner was the anxiety of what it would be like when I got back.   I go to a small-ish kickboxing gym where the trainers are really good about remembering people and making them feel like they’re excited to see you.   Accountability is a big thing with...

A little over 23 days ago most people were making their New Years Resolutions.   I was knee deep in a small journey in self-realization that involved a lot of research and confusion. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, a form of depression that is greatly affective by the seasons.   Because of this new news in my life, I decided not to make traditional resolutions this year.   I’m not setting firm, hard goals that will most likely be abandoned before February is over.   I’m not setting myself up to be disappointed next December when I don’t radically change my life in ways that I’ve been trying- and failing- to change for decades.   This year I’m going on a more spiritual path. 2019 will be my year of Self Care. I’m not going to hide behind helping others, putting myself third, fourth, or fifth in the line of priority. I’m putting myself first and, when needed, second but never less than second this year. Being supportive of the mental health...

Depression is a hell of a thing.   I’m still struggling to wrap my head around all this, but the more I think about it, and the more I investigate it, the more it all makes sense. My family has a history of depression, both diagnosed and undiagnosed. It’s something I grew up around and it was never stigmatized.   I’ve always appreciated that about my parents, but I’ve never fully come to be properly grateful for it until now. Without divulging other people’s personal information, I have several family members and several childhood friends with diagnosed depression.   It’s never been an issue or sticking point with me, it’s just been a part of my loved ones.   But it’s always been something that other people dealt with.   My job was to support them and be understanding. It’s a bit strange finding myself dealing with it while my loved ones are being understanding of me.   I’m not sure if this is something that I’ve always been dealing with, or if i...